Monthly Archives: August 2009

30 days of summer – Day 26 – NO!

I think I’ve finally fixed the comments! I thought people just weren’t wanting to leave comments for me anymore…. It turns out this cool blog template I’m using doesn’t support comments embedded on the main page so I switched it back to a full page view when you select comments below any post. Comments are always appreciated!!!

These photos were all shot on our front porch a few weeks ago right after breakfast (yes, I’m still weeks behind in our personal photo editing!). Sometimes I let them play just on the porch and sometimes they get to get off as well. Our porch is definitely big enough to give them plenty of room to move around. One of Blake’s favorite things to do is take the cushions off our furniture. Without the cushions they can get on and off much easier. Fast forward to now and we have almost kicked the cushion removing habit.

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So what was all the drama about? I said they could not get off the porch. They tried and tried and tried. Each time I would say no when Blake would promptly burst into a noisy wailing tearful mess.

30 days of summer – Day 25 – Help – What are these bites from?

Does anyone know what kind of thing gave Madison and I these awful bites? I know we got them while sitting on the bottom step of our front porch since her and I sat there yesterday evening for a while. I noticed both of us had red welts like any mosquito bite and about as itchy. The one on my calf really started bothering me while trying to go to sleep. Today both of us now have these larger red welts with dime sized orangy white dimpled skin in the middle. It is still irritated when fabric or something else touches it and kinda throbs, but the throbbing is barely noticeable. We showed it to the pharmacist who said to go to the doctor if it continues to get worse. There weren’t any helpful bite photos online. Any ideas?
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These next shots are all from our trip to Georgia in July. We went to the pool where we all had a great time once the babies got used to the water. Blake enjoyed all of the adventurous things while Madison liked lounging and cuddling the most. Though surprisingly she sat on the side and threw the tennis ball a few times. I think the shot of Blake and Gracie through the splash from Blake’s tennis ball throw is way cool! My dad and Guy even took over the camera for a while so I could have some fun, get shots and even be in a few.
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The kids eating their banana and raisin snack were so funny. Blake had almost an entire banana shoved into his mouth in the first few shots. He also tried to get in great big handfuls of raisins so Madison had to do the same to make sure she was getting her fair share. Check out how slim she is looking. Though really she’s as solid as a tree trunk. Even though Blake is big he still feels like a feather weight to me.
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Infertility & Adoption – What to say to a friend dealing with these issues

What to you say to a friend dealing with infertility?

Well, this is a huge topic most of us who have dealt with could write novels about. The easiest thing to say is, “I’m sorry.” Then zip it. Really. That’s it. Nothing more is needed nor in most cases wanted. This advice is for those fertile mertyls out there.

My friend send me a link to this blog with a post talking about this subject and a call out for links to blog posts talking about this topic. I love to talk about infertility, because too many of us keep it all bottled inside.

We really DO NOT want to hear about the one friend you know someone who knows someone who is related to said someone got pregnant on their own after years of trying, adopting a child or having a baby by artificial reproductive technologies (ART). Those are the far and few between. They are the ones people talk about. People don’t talk about the 95% left who still don’t have a baby, gave up years ago for emotional and/or financial reasons, adopted the one baby, had the one baby by ART or are still plugging away at getting the one live baby. Stories of hope are great, but they aren’t that helpful.

Don’t get me wrong. Most of us are very appreciative of your concern for us. It’s just that the journey of infertility is truly like an old wooden roller coaster with super highs and lows jostling you then entire trip. I broke my tailbone on one of those stinkin roller coasters about 6 years ago and it still hurts making this the perfect metaphor for me! With all the ups and downs it is really hard to gauge what comments will be hurtful and which will be OK at any given time. The same comment can be taken either way depending on the receivers spot on the ride.

My spot is a great one right now. I have two beautiful babies whom I used to call my little drug babies until Guy, the cop, kept complaining because it sounds bad. Those drugs were and are awesome for helping them get here to us.

My spot may not be so great soon. We are gearing up to try again in December. I really thought it would be all fine and dandy with no drama. Well, dang it, I’m already having drama about my doctors appointment next week to see what we need to do before then. Most Reproductive Endocrinologists want to do ALL the tests over again if you have been more then a year since your last tests. Not fun and they can be pricy. The last few nights I’ve been dreaming about being pregnant and dramatic situations around pregnancy.

Over the last few weeks I’ve mentioned to several people we are about to try again. Yeah, no one cares. I’m pretty sure this is the typcial reaction from people when someone already has kids. But we aren’t typical. We can’t expect to be announcing happy news in 3-6 months. We also have to deal with the drama of doctors appointments, laying out the dough, prepping for a cycle and all the drugs.

The other blog also brought up adoption. I’m glad she did. Most of us with fertility issues have thought long and hard about adoption. Both my husband and I would love to adopt especially because we both have adopted siblings we adore! But that is often harder or just as hard as fertility treatments. Domestic private (both open and closed) adoption is a lot of work by the adoptive parents, quite expensive (like IVF expensive) and there is no guarentee because the birth mom/family has to find you and pick you. Domestic adoption through foster care is very time consuming, economical, often heart breaking as you say goodby to one or more kids you’ve taken in that were available for adoption and very rarely can you get an infant especially one not adidcted or handicapped. International adoption is more of a guarentee with it’s long long waits, high expenses (20-35 thousand) & stacks of paperwork though most contries are much less available and more restrictive about allowing United States adoptions. Oh, and the most obnoxious thing about modern adoption. You have to prove over and over again to many people YOU are worthy to get a child. Talk about fear of rejection and hurt when so many can just get pregnant who are clearly unworthy, but they get to keep their baby. Unfortunately there are many less babies available for adoption then there are people who want to adopt. Abortion is definitely a contributing factor.

Speaking of abortion. I called Planned Parenthood (I didn’t know what they were really all about then) for some advice and leads on adopting figuring they were counceling women of their options to place a child for adoption, abort & offering birth control. The lady rudely let me know they do not help with adoptions in any way. Wow!

Not only is primary infertility a major issue in this country so is secondary infertility. So many couples have one or more children and then hit a fertility roadblock. We should not be limited to being completely greatful for the one or more child we have. Only we and our Heavenly Father can determine when our family is complete. It is OK to want more children. Not only is it OK, we should be able and supported for trying to complete our family with necessary fertility treatments and/or adoptions. I feel just as bad for those suffering from secondary infertility. They must feel like all of a sudden a wall is in front of them blocking the goal they saw only yesterday.

What to you say to a friend dealing with infertility? – I’m sorry. As many times as she needs to hear it over the span of your relationship. If you have some fabulous knowledge of fertility help feel free to share it. There may be just the tid bit of information they need to get pregnant. If you hear of any bith mom wanting to place her child for adoption make sure to blog about it and send an email to all of your friends. Someone may just know the adoptive parents for the child. Definitely give me a shout out as I know a few people actively looking to adopt right now.

There is definitely hope, love, support, luck, connections & knowledge out there. Love is the way to share and help. Love is always an appreciated emotion. Love doesn’t mean pity or even empathy. Love is just love. To all my friends and family. I LOVE YOU!!!

30 days of summer – Day 24 – haircuts smaercuts

This picture share is all about drama. We took them in to the KIDS hair salon while in GA a few weeks ago. Guy was tired of my procrastinating cutting Blake’s hair & I wasn’t quite sure what I would do with Madison’s.
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These kids will be getting mommy haircuts until I’m up to this drama again. And it was expensive! $30 to whack at their hair for about 8 minutes.

My sweet babies! They are so interesting to watch grow & develop. I know it will all pass quickly in the grand scheme of things so I try and keep that in mind. Who knows if they will want a cuddle or kiss tomorrow so I’d better take them now. Who knows if they will eat a particular food tomorrow so I try not to get upset if they don’t eat something. Who knows if they will be doing that cute thing tomorrow so I’d better watch today. There are so many fleeting expressions, actions and moments. Even the tough days are going to be gone soon. Sure there will be more good and bad to come, but it will be different.

Though I can very clearly rejoice the first year is over!!!! Today we went for a walk. They hopped up running to the door calling out ‘Bu Bye’ repeatedly as soon I let them know we were leaving. They both walked out the door on their own leaving me to grab everything we needed in my hands so there were no return trips to get something. They kept on their glasses and hats almost the whole time & they are starting to tell me what they want, need and see. Life is pretty stinkin good.

I have some cool photos up on the photo blog as well as some shots of some great products. I can design big albums & the new accordion albums from past sessions as well as your upcoming sessions.

30 days of summer – Day 22 – Stone Mountain Park

When we went to Atlanta a few weeks ago all of us trekked out to Stone Mountain Park. It was definitely a Hotlanta evening keeping us all nice and swampy feeling.

Our first stop in the park was the old plantation home. It was pretty stinky (as in smelly) of old stuff, but I always love seeing it. They had a really pretty little garden right by the house too. Blake & Madison are getting really good about keeping their sunglasses on. Blake went to all of us at one point or another. Gracie and Madison were pretty much inseparable.
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We ended up eating dinner at the park. I thought it was funny when the waitress threw our rolls at us from a platform above us. I don’t think it was a common practice in the restaurant so she must have just thought we were cool. Oh yeah, we are pretty stinkin cool.
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The passifiers are officially gone! Today at church I had a moment of panic when my friends kiddos tossed his/her binkie (a few occasions) on the ground. Both kids were concerned about giving them back to the kids and not using them!!! Love it. I still can’t believe how easy it was to get rid of them. There is actually a lot LESS drama in our house without them. No more ‘where is it’ or ‘don’t you dare take it from me’ to deal with.

I forgot to adjust the aperature when taking this photo of Gracie and I to make us both in focus. It’s great she is the one in focus! The photo of Guy and Blake is odd looking to me. Blake’s shirt looks kind of like it could belong to Guy with Blake behind him instead of on his shoulder. Maybe it’s just me.
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